026 – The Roles of Parenting

Show Notes

On this episode of the podcast, I interview Brian Sutter. Fundamentally, we have a hard time with connection and building meaningful relationships. This often brings pain and struggle. As a Mental Health Therapist, Brian is walking through the hurts and challenges with different individuals.

bsutter-family

Brian and Alison Sutter with their children, Kennedy and Cash

Be purposeful in building connection with your kids when they are young (1-3).

Some Goals Related to Technology:

  • No screen in the car for <30 minute drive
  • 2 hours/day of screen time
  • Setting blocks on the phone

Create a Roadmap for your Child’s Need in their stage of life.

Roles of Parenting

Servant: In the early years (birth-2 yrs) mom and dad’s role is that of servant. You are building your connection with your child and primarily serving your child’s needs.

Authoritative: From ages 3-12, parents need to step in as the authority. It’s likely this is being developed earlier but at this age your children really begin to understand your authority and their boundaries. They need it and they probably want it but don’t know they want it.

Mentor: During the teen years, 13-18, assuming you’ve established yourself as their authority and have built that connection with them, you step into the role of mentor. At this stage you primarily focus on leading and guiding your kids.

Resources and Links:

 

025 – Five Steps to Take When You Don’t Know What to Do

Show Notes

Knowing what to do in parenting isn’t always straight forward. Sometimes you get into situations where you don’t know what to do. In this episode we discuss five steps you can take when you don’t know what to do.

Fun Times with Dad: Taking Alex to get his drivers’ license.

There he goes, shifts into gear and he’s on his wayproverbs-19-20
Just learned to drive, turns sixteen in a couple days
and oh how time flies, didn’t I just take off his training wheels
now he’s got a car to show off to all the girls
– from “Learning to Let Go

Five Steps to Take When You Don’t Know What to Do

  1. Talk to Your Spouse
  2. Seek Counsel from a Trusted Friend, Counselor or Pastor
  3. Read and Meditate on the Bible
  4. Take Action
  5. Monitor and Reassess the Situation

“A godly father teaches and motivates his children.” – Andy Majorins

…as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. ~ 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 (NKJV)

Links:
Learning to Let Go (Episode 005)
Proverbs 10:4-5
Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC)
Tri-County Bible Church Sermons

 

024 – The Priority of Parenting

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: Annual Father’s Day Baseball Game

I always made parenting a priority. I remember hearing the horror stories of men who would become a slave to their jobs and careers and have no relationship with their kids. They work long hours to “provide” for their family but fail to provide the one thing they really need…a father’s love.

dugout

Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying:  “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn; that the Lord may fulfill His word which He spoke concerning me, saying, ‘If your sons take heed to their way, to walk before Me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul,’ He said, ‘you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.’ ~ 1 Kings 2:1-4

Links:

023 – The Most Toughest Thing on the Planet

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: Jamming with Nolan.

by Nolan (2013)

by Nolan (2013)

Your kids are your biggest fan. They watch what you do and they try to imitate it. They are proud of you even though they may not know how to articulate that to you. In this episode, I discuss one realization I made to this fact through a drawing that my youngest son did that I found recently.

Five Benefits of Setting and Achieving Goals:

  1. When you set goals and achieve them, your kids admire you
  2. Setting goals will challenge your kids
  3. Setting goals will challenge yourself
  4. It’s beneficial to get exercise for health and productivity
  5. There is no failure in not achieving goals

Links:

 

022 – Three Benefits of Having a Routine

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: Teaching Alex to Drive

There are many benefits of having a routine, both for you and your children. In this episode I discuss three of these benefits and chores-routinehow our family has benefited from routine. Granted, we do need balance and need to be flexible enough to roll with the punches when stuff comes up, but even in your schedule you can create some margin in your day so every single minute isn’t filled up with activity.

As adults, routine is particularly helpful in the morning as we get into our day. We make time for what is most important and if you have a set schedule the first couple of hours each morning, it’s easy to get those things done that are top priority, like quiet time, exercise and listening to a parenting podcast!

Three Benefits of Having a Routine

  1. Provides Order
  2. Promotes Boundaries
  3. Promotes Obedience

Article Links

021 – A Reality All Their Own

Show Notes

Fun Times With Dad: Taking Nolan to work with me.

It seems almost ironic as I record this on Memorial Day, the day we set aside to remember all the soldiers whocontroller gave their lives for our freedom. Men, fathers and sons gone off to fight in wars for our country.
Today, the battles more often take place in bedrooms where “men” sit in isolation playing Call of Duty or World of Warcraft, battling it out with others who also sit in isolation in their bedrooms.

Boys need Dads in their life to teach them how to be a man.

Article Links:

Parental Action:

  1. Recognize the signs
  2. Avoid the mistakes
  3. Know what makes games addictive

Lead Your Children On – I referenced this episode from March in this podcast episode.

020 – Evidences of God in D.C.

Show Notes

Evidences of God and His word can be found many places in our nation’s capitol. In this episode I discuss five of them that I found recently while on vacation.

I also discuss a recent podcast from Albert Mohler from May 8, 2015 where he examines a news article claimingtomb-of-the-unknown that kids who have parents that read to them have an unfair advantage.

Evidences of God

  1. Supreme Court
  2. Lincoln Memorial
  3. Arlington Cemetery – “Here rests in honored glory an American Soldier known but to God.”
  4. Washington’s Tomb – Mount Vernon, VA
  5. Jefferson Memorial

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” ~ John 11:25-26

019 – Vacation Planning Ideas

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad – Another version of wrestling.laguna-beach

Summer is here! That means it’s time to get a vacation planned with your family. It doesn’t have to be big but you need to take time to do something with your family. And you need a break from work!  Make it happen!

Top 8 Ideas for Your Summer Vacation
1. Head to the City
2. Head to the Country
3. Family Camp (e.g. Gull Lake Ministries)
4. State Park
5. Adventure Trip
6. Visit Family
7. Go to the Beach
8. Visit your State Capitol (or someone else’s!)

Links
Yelp!
Gull Lake Ministries

018 – Running for Autism Research

Show Notes

We welcome Jeff Rayburn to our show in this episode! Jeff has done a ton of fund raising for Autism research through his rayburnsrunning, including 14 marathons! With running and the community efforts of him and his wife, they have raised over $100,000 for Autism Research.

Listen in as we discuss:
What dravet syndrome is.
What signs to look for if you suspect autistic tendencies with your child.

Links
Organization for Autism Research
Jeff Rayburn
Chloë K 5K Event – May 16, 2015

017 – Preparation Plan

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: pulling the weeds2015-04-23 09.36.26
Parenting is about Preparation – for their future and the final judgment
What are your ambitions for your children?
Are your ambitions for them biblical or temporal?
Are any of them in line with true greatness?
Are your ambitions for your children more important than the cultivation of humility and servanthood?

4 Ways to help your children become great in the eyes of God

1. Be an example of greatness – examining your own life. Pull the weeds in your own heart.
  Take care of the issues no matter how big or small
  Ask for forgiveness. Set the pattern for them to follow when you mess up.
2. Define True Greatness for your Children
  Greatness = Servanthood
  Greatness = Humility
  be the servant in your life roles – in your family, church, workplace, community
  define it through your example
3. Teach your children to discern and admire true greatness
 Don’t celebrate anything more than you celebrate Godly character in your children
Examples:
  Those serving in your local church – SS teachers, worship leaders, pastors, etc
  Missionaries your church supports
  Other Missionaries:
     Forrest Zander (Wycliffe Ministries) former missionary pilot
            Book – His Faithfulness Reaches to the Skies
            Blog Post Series
     Shadow of the Almighty – Story about the life of Jim Elliot
     A Chance to Die – Story about Amy Carmichael
4. Teach your children to serve
     Serve in the context of local church – find ways to help them plug in to assisting with ongoing ministries
Be assured that  parenting is something God has called you to and that He has personally assigned your children to you both for their good an for your sanctification. – C. J. Mahaney