030 – One Dad, Four Boys and Eight Crazy Days

01-IMG_5214Show Notes

Bart Rinkenberger is simply trying, as many of us are, to be an intentional parent. Bart recently took his four boys on a backpacking trip to Colorado. In this episode I talked to Bart about this experience. He tells us what he did to prepare for the trip, provides some great stories about the trip and shares insights for how you can also do a similar trip with your kids.

1. Be Prepared

Do your homework before setting out on a trip like this. Talk to people who have experience in the type of activity you want to do with your family. Along with that, set up an itinerary to give you a guideline of what you want to accomplish on the trip. Finally, save your 02-IMG_5200money ahead of time and budget for the expected (an unexpected) expenses.

2. Execute

Head out and enjoy the journey. Don’t worry about accomplishing everything on your itinerary, but enjoy the experience with your family making time for spontaneity. Make sure to make time for God and unplug from technology. Also, be willing to adapt and divert from your agenda as necessary.

10-IMG_52683. Reflect

Take time after the trip to reflect and share with each other, as well as with others, your favorite memories of the trip. Note the “flip flop” story Bart shares with us!

Links
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029 – Decisions We Have Made in Parenting, Part 2

Show Notes

In this episode, Heather and I continue our conversation talking about some of the decisions God has led us to in our parenting journey.

If you missed part 1, you can find it in episode 028.Be prayerful and rely on the Lord.

1. Kids Activities
There seems to be a lot of pressure to involve your kids in a variety of activities from preschool all the way through High School. We have chosen to limit the number of activities our children participate in because we didn’t want to put ourselves in a situation where the kids’ activities dictate our priorities.

2. Homeschool
Started in 2010. Heather is SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) and shares our story on our decision to homeschool our kids.

028 – Decisions We Have Made in Parenting, Part 1

Show Notes

Fun Times with the Husband and Wife: On the night of this recording, we got dinner out together while the kids were  occupied by Mary Poppins. Spit spot!

In this episode, we start a two part series where Heather and I talk about some of the decisions we were intentional in making along part of our parenting journey.

Decisions We’ve Made in Parentingphilandheather

1. Cutting Cable out of our Home
About ten years ago, we decided to shut off our cable. We do watch some shows via the internet or DVD but we can be more intentional about what we choose to watch. This decision came as a result of attending family camp to allow more time for us to serve the Kingdom more than ourselves.

2. Vacationing to Family Camp
We love Gull Lake Ministries family camp. (You can hear about it on episode 006 of our podcast.) GLM is great for all ages. It provides solid Bible teaching, a safe environment and includes a planned-out agenda. We enjoy the opportunity to detox from the culture and unplug from the world for a week.

3. Serving in Ministry
We have been blessed with opportunities to serve in ministry including some leadership positions in our church over the course of our years there. We enjoy this because it allows us the ability to involve the kids in ministry and serves as a growing impact on the kids. Through these opportunities, we have learned to trust God by saying ‘yes’ to some of the opportunities that have come along.

“God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.”

027 – Teaching Your Children About Stewardship

Show Notes

Scott and Amy Goldsmith with their children, Aiden, Ella, Sascha, Nina and Truett.

Scott and Amy Goldsmith with their children, Aiden, Ella, Sascha, Nina and Truett.

In this episode, I talk with Scott Goldsmith, Financial Advisor with Ronald Blue & Co. Scott shares some great advice on how to think about stewardship and ownership and provides wisdom on how to intentionally teach our children about stewardship.

“One of the most important things is to help kids understand their stewardship responsibility and God’s ownership responsibility.” – Scott Goldsmith

Stewardship Principles to Follow

  1. The importance of having goals (Proverbs 16:9)
  2. Avoiding the use of debt (Proverbs 22:7)
  3. Increasing generosity (1 Timothy 6:17-19)
  4. Diversifying your investments (Ecclesiastes 11:2)

Links

026 – The Roles of Parenting

Show Notes

On this episode of the podcast, I interview Brian Sutter. Fundamentally, we have a hard time with connection and building meaningful relationships. This often brings pain and struggle. As a Mental Health Therapist, Brian is walking through the hurts and challenges with different individuals.

bsutter-family

Brian and Alison Sutter with their children, Kennedy and Cash

Be purposeful in building connection with your kids when they are young (1-3).

Some Goals Related to Technology:

  • No screen in the car for <30 minute drive
  • 2 hours/day of screen time
  • Setting blocks on the phone

Create a Roadmap for your Child’s Need in their stage of life.

Roles of Parenting

Servant: In the early years (birth-2 yrs) mom and dad’s role is that of servant. You are building your connection with your child and primarily serving your child’s needs.

Authoritative: From ages 3-12, parents need to step in as the authority. It’s likely this is being developed earlier but at this age your children really begin to understand your authority and their boundaries. They need it and they probably want it but don’t know they want it.

Mentor: During the teen years, 13-18, assuming you’ve established yourself as their authority and have built that connection with them, you step into the role of mentor. At this stage you primarily focus on leading and guiding your kids.

Resources and Links:

 

025 – Five Steps to Take When You Don’t Know What to Do

Show Notes

Knowing what to do in parenting isn’t always straight forward. Sometimes you get into situations where you don’t know what to do. In this episode we discuss five steps you can take when you don’t know what to do.

Fun Times with Dad: Taking Alex to get his drivers’ license.

There he goes, shifts into gear and he’s on his wayproverbs-19-20
Just learned to drive, turns sixteen in a couple days
and oh how time flies, didn’t I just take off his training wheels
now he’s got a car to show off to all the girls
– from “Learning to Let Go

Five Steps to Take When You Don’t Know What to Do

  1. Talk to Your Spouse
  2. Seek Counsel from a Trusted Friend, Counselor or Pastor
  3. Read and Meditate on the Bible
  4. Take Action
  5. Monitor and Reassess the Situation

“A godly father teaches and motivates his children.” – Andy Majorins

…as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. ~ 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 (NKJV)

Links:
Learning to Let Go (Episode 005)
Proverbs 10:4-5
Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC)
Tri-County Bible Church Sermons

 

024 – The Priority of Parenting

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: Annual Father’s Day Baseball Game

I always made parenting a priority. I remember hearing the horror stories of men who would become a slave to their jobs and careers and have no relationship with their kids. They work long hours to “provide” for their family but fail to provide the one thing they really need…a father’s love.

dugout

Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying:  “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn; that the Lord may fulfill His word which He spoke concerning me, saying, ‘If your sons take heed to their way, to walk before Me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul,’ He said, ‘you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.’ ~ 1 Kings 2:1-4

Links:

023 – The Most Toughest Thing on the Planet

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: Jamming with Nolan.

by Nolan (2013)

by Nolan (2013)

Your kids are your biggest fan. They watch what you do and they try to imitate it. They are proud of you even though they may not know how to articulate that to you. In this episode, I discuss one realization I made to this fact through a drawing that my youngest son did that I found recently.

Five Benefits of Setting and Achieving Goals:

  1. When you set goals and achieve them, your kids admire you
  2. Setting goals will challenge your kids
  3. Setting goals will challenge yourself
  4. It’s beneficial to get exercise for health and productivity
  5. There is no failure in not achieving goals

Links:

 

022 – Three Benefits of Having a Routine

Show Notes

Fun Times with Dad: Teaching Alex to Drive

There are many benefits of having a routine, both for you and your children. In this episode I discuss three of these benefits and chores-routinehow our family has benefited from routine. Granted, we do need balance and need to be flexible enough to roll with the punches when stuff comes up, but even in your schedule you can create some margin in your day so every single minute isn’t filled up with activity.

As adults, routine is particularly helpful in the morning as we get into our day. We make time for what is most important and if you have a set schedule the first couple of hours each morning, it’s easy to get those things done that are top priority, like quiet time, exercise and listening to a parenting podcast!

Three Benefits of Having a Routine

  1. Provides Order
  2. Promotes Boundaries
  3. Promotes Obedience

Article Links

021 – A Reality All Their Own

Show Notes

Fun Times With Dad: Taking Nolan to work with me.

It seems almost ironic as I record this on Memorial Day, the day we set aside to remember all the soldiers whocontroller gave their lives for our freedom. Men, fathers and sons gone off to fight in wars for our country.
Today, the battles more often take place in bedrooms where “men” sit in isolation playing Call of Duty or World of Warcraft, battling it out with others who also sit in isolation in their bedrooms.

Boys need Dads in their life to teach them how to be a man.

Article Links:

Parental Action:

  1. Recognize the signs
  2. Avoid the mistakes
  3. Know what makes games addictive

Lead Your Children On – I referenced this episode from March in this podcast episode.